The Truth About Fear and Division

Fear is one of the most powerful tools ever created. It moves people—to react, to respond, to believe, and to align with whatever group claims to offer safety from the unknown. It’s used in politics, the media, and culture—it’s everywhere. And the most effective way to control people is to make them afraid of each other or of a problem so large and overwhelming that they feel powerless against it.

But fear doesn’t always work by making you feel personally threatened. It can be framed as a threat to others—people who may not be in a position to fight for themselves. If you don’t take a side, someone more vulnerable than you will suffer. For years, it was the elderly. Now, it’s our kids, the next generation—always framed as something only your side can prevent.

Create a problem. Assign a villain. Present your side with the solutions. But when you step back—when you stop reacting—you start to see it: a narrative designed to keep you emotionally invested in a game you don’t even want to play.

Fear tells you what to think, who to trust, and—more importantly—who to distrust. It creates a sense of urgency, a demand to react, and a belief that the “other side” is out to take something from you.  Usually, the future. Always vague enough that you’ll fill in the gaps. It’s why politicians push narratives, why the media thrives on division, and why people stay stuck in the old boxes. If you’re constantly afraid of what might happen next, you don’t have the time or energy to step back and question whether the fear is even real. And that’s exactly how they want it.

If fear tells you that you’re under attack, division tells you exactly who is attacking you. It assigns blame, labels, and clear-cut enemies. Currently, we have The Woke-Mind Virus and Elon Musk. The more divided we are, the more predictable we become. It’s easier to sell ideas and policies to people who are in constant conflict because they’re emotionally engaged. But what if the division isn’t real? What if the majority of people don’t fit neatly into one extreme or another?

I began to see it as I moved through my own life. I realized that no matter who was in power, the real work of building my life was on me. Washington wasn’t dictating my personal growth. The media wasn’t stopping me from reinventing myself. The narratives they pushed weren’t reflective of my day-to-day experience—and they still aren’t. The fear wasn’t real then. And it’s not real now. Not in the way I was told.

Social media, the talking heads, and approved group narratives push hard to have you believe that you must align with something, fear something, or be against something. But here’s the truth: the moment you decide that you don’t have to play the game, you win.

Claim the radical middle—the space where you aren’t reacting out of fear, where you’re seeing things clearly, and where you’re making choices based on what actually aligns with your experience, not what you’ve been told to believe. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was the beginning of something bigger—a process of breaking free from the illusion that we’re all supposed to be either one side or another. I explore it in my memoir—the idea of breaking out of the box that society, culture, and even we help create.

If I had let fear drive my decisions, I wouldn’t be here today. I would have never gone back to triathlon after a debilitating back injury. I would have never bought the ranch, start an orchard or learned how to graze cattle with no experience. I would have never switched careers, taken less money for something I love, or even switched genders—a decision that required cutting my own path into the unknown.  On that note,

I was told I wouldn’t be supported.

I was told I wouldn’t be welcome.

I was told I would be ostracized.

I was told I would live in fear.

Yet none of that happened.

Instead of staying trapped in the narrative, paralyzed by what each side told me was going to happen, I said “yes” to the experience. I was told I wouldn’t be supported, but I found the right people. I was told I would live in fear, but I found peace. I was told I would be ostracized, but I created deeper relationships than I ever had before.  And I didn’t have to label myself or join a group to find any of it. The fear that was being sold wasn’t real. And it’s not real for you, either—not in the way you’ve been told.

Ask yourself: are you making choices based on fear? Have you picked a side, because you feel like it’s the only option? What would happen if you responded instead of reacted—based on what you actually experience, not what you’ve been told?

The world wants you divided. It wants you afraid. It wants you reacting and predictable.

But there’s a way out.

Next Step: The Radical Middle

In the next blog, we’ll dive deeper into what it means to step into the radical middle—a place that I now know well. A place where you’re not tied to the edges. A place where you respond and think for yourself. A place where you take back control.

How do you get there? What does it look like?

We’ll talk about that next time.