We Don’t See Reality: We See Our Version Of It

We see through filters: our wounds, beliefs, fears, and past experiences. We think we’re perceiving the world with clarity, what we’re really seeing is shaped by what’s inside of us. Our inner world gets mirrored back through everything and everyone around us.

We don’t experience reality itself. We experience our version of it.

Carl Jung said this. So did Jesus.

When Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear,” or “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,” He wasn’t talking about our ears or our eyes. He was talking about our perception and the internal clarity required to actually see what is true. The pure in heart don’t see more because their senses work better. They see more because their filters are clearer.

What’s dangerous isn’t the illusion. What’s dangerous is believing your perception isn’t one.

Most people don’t realize they’re looking through a lens. They think they’re simply observing facts as they are. Consider this: the way we interpret someone’s tone, the motives we assign to their actions, the meaning we extract from their words, the labels we give them after the fact, none of that is neutral.

That’s not truth. That’s projection.

Have you ever noticed how two people can witness the exact same event, like a car crash, and walk away with completely different stories? One says the truck ran the light. The other insists the sedan was speeding. Neither is lying. They just saw it through different lenses.

That same thing happens on a bigger scale, too.

When political power shifts, when laws change, when leaders speak, some people feel like we’re entering a time of progress and peace, while others are convinced we’re standing on the edge of tyranny. Same country. Same moment. Same headline. Completely different realities.

The part we often miss: It’s all real to them. Just as real as mine is to me. The version of the world we see isn’t necessarily wrong. It is incomplete, shaped by our own story.

If you’re willing to dig deeper, you’ll start to see it: rejection isn’t always about others, it’s often about us. What we reject in others often mirrors what we still struggle to accept in ourselves. What we fear. What we were taught to despise. The parts of us that haven’t been met with compassion. When we start to meet those parts with honesty instead of avoidance, everything begins to shift.

When I started getting my tattoos, it wasn’t about the ink. It was about the experience. I had shown up in a place I never thought I’d find myself, surrounded by people completely different than me. I was still in my business suits, straight from sales meetings, sitting down with artists covered in tattoos and piercings from their heads to their toes. Within weeks, we were sharing stories and meals. Their lives, though different than mine, were rich with kindness, resilience, and humanity.

I realized something: what I had assumed about them was wrong. I realized something else just as important: what other people assumed about me would be wrong, too. That was okay.

Once you understand that everyone is looking through a lens, you stop trying to convince them to see what you see, and start asking what their lens might be showing them.

This excerpt is from Chapter 5 of The Radical Middle, launching September 9th. If it resonated with you, join my email list for updates and be the first to know when the book, companion journal, and podcast go live. You can also connect with me directly at andrea@andrealeigh.com